Don’t we all want to feel like someone is hearing us, even if they aren’t solving the problems? Your child wants to know that his words are being heard. Stop what you are doing, look at your child, listen to what they are saying and then react. Show them that you have these feelings, too, and they are OK. Anxious children can have difficulty showing people that they are angry or sad, because they are worried that they will annoy or anger people. “If you have a substitute, I’ll stay in there with you for 15 minutes. We combat this worry by giving him an easy alternative.
Our son is always scared to go to church because he is nervous that his teacher won’t be there and he will have a substitute. Sometimes we feel worried when we see things like a big dog, but what is it that worries you? How can we stop worrying? “Oh look, Snow White… here comes a big dog.” Talk to your child about the worry. Use your child’s toys and play out specific situations. They worry themselves into a corner and they can’t get out. The thing about anxiety is that our kids aren’t looking at the situation (the crowded park, the big dog, the diving board), but instead, they are thinking about the worst-case scenario. It leaves the child feeling like they must completely avoid a situation, in order to keep it under control. On the other hand, when a child has too much anxiety, they have a a feeling that is overprotective, that keeps them from being able to handle a situation. Sometimes that anxiety will help your child, keeping them safe. Most people have anxiety, to some degree: A fear, a worry, an anxious feeling. Helping anxious children is easier said than done.
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